Day 6 - Feminism in Lingerie

Yesterday I read this post on i-D by Tish Weinstock interviewing Hayat Rachi. To summarise, the founder of Neon Moon lingerie (currently a kickstarter) was explaining why her brand defies anything which sexualises women. Firstly I just want to take a moment to appreciate the irony that is her name-share with Neon Moon Burlesque and Caberet Club. Moving on from this wonderful piece of coincidence, I have mixed feelings about this interview.

Rachi of Neon Moon makes some good points about the benefits of soft cup bras. It's certainly true to say that wires are not as essential as a lot of retailers market them to be, but to say that the only purpose wiring serves is to "adhere to the idea of women as sexual objects" is just not true. For petite and core sizing I agree that wires aren't strictly necessary, we only use them to create the shape that we find attractive but the support which underwiring can give to a large cup size is unrivalled. It allows support to alleviate back pain without having to bind the breasts tight into the body and use lots of extra panelling, seams and fabric which of course all add to the cost of a garment. One area where wires are necessary is in supportive strapless bras, you cannot get the bra to sit tight against the body and stay in one place with supportive, individual cups (as opposed to a bandeau) without them.

Onto breasts. Here's where I get passionate. To say that presenting breasts as sexual is wrong, or that we only use wired bras to look more attractive to men is completely undermining the majority of women in our culture. I do not wear underwired bras so my boyfriend thinks I look sexy. Period. I do what I want and I wear what I want. If I want to create a more pushed up, rounded shape one day, I will. If I prefer a more natural look the next, then I'll wear a wear a bralette or go braless. I am in control of my body, and to me that is feminism.

I don't want to feel shamed for seeing my breasts as part of my sexual identity. I agree that society's attitude to breastfeeding could do with some improvement and obviously that is the primary purpose of breasts, but there is a secondary purpose too in enjoyment! Again, it's a matter of control. I am in control of my sexuality.

And on the theme of shame, I also don't think it's fair to label models as "unattainable". I have a 25" waist and perky boobs, does this mean I don't look like a 'normal girl'? I agree that there should be more diverse representation in every aspect of the fashion and lingerie industries but we need to be very careful in the language and phrasing that we use so we don't make smaller women such as myself feel like we're somehow wrong in the process.

Conversely, I do agree that the extent to which brands such as Victoria's Secret use sexiness as the primary buying factor in advertising needs to change so we have a healthier attitude. For example, I was in VS just the other day trying on neutral coloured strapless bras, and the lady in the fitting rooms told me I could definitely buy an A cup instead of a B because although the B fits better, the A is smaller so it pushes my boobs up and out, looking sexier. Sexiness is not something which factors into a white strapless bra and as a contour student I couldn't believe they were offering out this advice.

To conclude, it's good that there's another brand using diverse models and it's good that there are more soft cup bras available in a variety of sizes. However to say wires are pointless is literally wrong, that statement clearly comes from someone who has never studies bras academically and technically. Also, my breasts and my lingerie form part of my sexual identity, which I am in complete control of, and that control is what makes me a feminist, not the eschewing a certain silhouette.

Signing off, I will make one further point. The interviewer Tish Weinstock chose to use the phrase "stick thin" to describe models often used in lingerie. This is highly offensive and you should never do it. Ever. I would never called a plus size model grossly fat. The same manner of courtesy should be applied both ways.

Acceptance

So one of my earlier memories in life is in primary school in year 5. I tripped over and fell onto this girl in my class called Chloe, and I remember very clearly my face being planted right in between her newly formed boobs. We would only have been 9 or 10 at the time, but she was an early bloomer and I... well I'm still waiting for my blossoming almost a decade later. In fact I can speculate that age 9 Chloe probably has larger breasts than present day me.

Anyway, this particular episode of face planting had a very strong effect on me and as I progressed onwards through secondary school and saw Chloe and the rest of the girls around grow into a more and more womanly figure I was left fluttering behind in the distance, feeling worse and worse about my body each week when we changed for PE.

Lula Lu Petites, sourced from globalintimatewear.com

I remember seriously considering at one point when I was around 14 padding out my bra with socks or tissue or whatever to try to keep up. I would buy bras with what was, quite frankly, an absurd amount of padding in them; I just wanted to be normal and for the boys to be interested in me.

When I think about it now, I'm sure something similar was going through Chloe's mind. I can imagine now that she would have felt like she stood out and she wasn't normal, and maybe she just wanted to look like all the other girls who were smaller. And maybe the fact that the boys weren't interested in me had more to do with the fact that every time an attractive specimen of the opposite sex approached me I turned bright red and made myself look like a complete fool, and I was not at all popular, which at that age is the most important thing in the world.

The Mad Men actress with a slightly larger chest than me...

When I managed to find a member of the opposite sex who both played the guitar and got turned on by red bumbling fools in year 11, it took... well, it took until only a few months ago (and I'm off to uni later this year) for me to believe that he actually was happy with my boobs, he wasn't just lying and going home and crying over a photo of Christina Hendrix every night. It's taken a few years, but I have finally grown to accept my shape. It's petite. It's delicate. It's perky. And I honestly believe that it can be  just as feminine as Chloe's.

There isn't a single woman out there who doesn't have positive aspects to her body, it's just a journey in self confidence to accept and learn to love them.