Days 7-9 - Camera Testing and Family Break

http://www.refinery29.com/diy-wedding-bouquets#slide-8
Traditional yet modern, no significance other than its beauty

This weekend has been a break for me, I spent time visiting my Grandma on the North Somerset coast enjoying family time and trying to reset myself back to some semblance of human which isn't so stress infused. I took my camera out every day and fiddled around with it, although acquiring skill is going to take a while yet and the majority of the pictures aren't worth sharing. I seem to be getting on better with the macro lens than with the normal one which shouldn't be happening, but hey-ho.

Day 6 - Feminism in Lingerie

Yesterday I read this post on i-D by Tish Weinstock interviewing Hayat Rachi. To summarise, the founder of Neon Moon lingerie (currently a kickstarter) was explaining why her brand defies anything which sexualises women. Firstly I just want to take a moment to appreciate the irony that is her name-share with Neon Moon Burlesque and Caberet Club. Moving on from this wonderful piece of coincidence, I have mixed feelings about this interview.

Rachi of Neon Moon makes some good points about the benefits of soft cup bras. It's certainly true to say that wires are not as essential as a lot of retailers market them to be, but to say that the only purpose wiring serves is to "adhere to the idea of women as sexual objects" is just not true. For petite and core sizing I agree that wires aren't strictly necessary, we only use them to create the shape that we find attractive but the support which underwiring can give to a large cup size is unrivalled. It allows support to alleviate back pain without having to bind the breasts tight into the body and use lots of extra panelling, seams and fabric which of course all add to the cost of a garment. One area where wires are necessary is in supportive strapless bras, you cannot get the bra to sit tight against the body and stay in one place with supportive, individual cups (as opposed to a bandeau) without them.

Onto breasts. Here's where I get passionate. To say that presenting breasts as sexual is wrong, or that we only use wired bras to look more attractive to men is completely undermining the majority of women in our culture. I do not wear underwired bras so my boyfriend thinks I look sexy. Period. I do what I want and I wear what I want. If I want to create a more pushed up, rounded shape one day, I will. If I prefer a more natural look the next, then I'll wear a wear a bralette or go braless. I am in control of my body, and to me that is feminism.

I don't want to feel shamed for seeing my breasts as part of my sexual identity. I agree that society's attitude to breastfeeding could do with some improvement and obviously that is the primary purpose of breasts, but there is a secondary purpose too in enjoyment! Again, it's a matter of control. I am in control of my sexuality.

And on the theme of shame, I also don't think it's fair to label models as "unattainable". I have a 25" waist and perky boobs, does this mean I don't look like a 'normal girl'? I agree that there should be more diverse representation in every aspect of the fashion and lingerie industries but we need to be very careful in the language and phrasing that we use so we don't make smaller women such as myself feel like we're somehow wrong in the process.

Conversely, I do agree that the extent to which brands such as Victoria's Secret use sexiness as the primary buying factor in advertising needs to change so we have a healthier attitude. For example, I was in VS just the other day trying on neutral coloured strapless bras, and the lady in the fitting rooms told me I could definitely buy an A cup instead of a B because although the B fits better, the A is smaller so it pushes my boobs up and out, looking sexier. Sexiness is not something which factors into a white strapless bra and as a contour student I couldn't believe they were offering out this advice.

To conclude, it's good that there's another brand using diverse models and it's good that there are more soft cup bras available in a variety of sizes. However to say wires are pointless is literally wrong, that statement clearly comes from someone who has never studies bras academically and technically. Also, my breasts and my lingerie form part of my sexual identity, which I am in complete control of, and that control is what makes me a feminist, not the eschewing a certain silhouette.

Signing off, I will make one further point. The interviewer Tish Weinstock chose to use the phrase "stick thin" to describe models often used in lingerie. This is highly offensive and you should never do it. Ever. I would never called a plus size model grossly fat. The same manner of courtesy should be applied both ways.

Day 5 - Clothing Haul

I don't usually like the term 'haul', to me it gives connotations of unneeded spending, just buying for the sake of it, but on this occasion that's the exact opposite of what I was doing. As I mentioned vaguely in my mission statement I've barely been shopping in over 2 years, and while more and more clothes are making the charity shop pile, nothing is coming in to replace them. So back home in London and armed with some left over student loan (a phrase you don't hear very often), I braved Oxford Street.

As usual I spent a questionable amount of time in Topshop flagship. If you've never visited, it's 5 floors of Topshop/Topman, and on one of the first times I visited I got legitimately lost, accidentally left the store using a tiny side exit and walked off in completely the wrong direction. Now, being a seasoned pro, I managed not to lose my way and left through the main entrance with the most beautiful blue (polyester) suade pleated skirt that makes me immensely happy, alongside a couple of other bits and bobs including the perfect white shirt.

Having spent half of my budget in one store, I decided to do further damage by purchasing a merino wool top in Cos. In my justification it was 30% off and so incredibly soft and bright that I couldn't let it go. The same factors applied to the socks. I rarely purchase anything that's not in a cheap high street store because I usually can't afford it, but the care taken in packaging, the lush carpeting in the changing rooms and the neat civilised store layout is a change I could get used to.

Now, significantly over budget, I decided to tone it down, spending the rest of my time in Forever 21 and Pull & Bear. The dress from F21 is not my style but worn under the blue skirt it looks like a bodysuit and would save some dignity if the skirt were to blow up in the wind. The three tops from Pull & Bear are in a quite thin summery jersey and the perfect length to wear with high waisted jeans, but long enough to tuck into my new skirt, as long as you don't have to reach for something on the top shelf. All in all a successful trip.

In other news, I am now posting the day after as it gives me more time to compile a post, and Amazon has delivered me a memory card!

Topshop

Skirt - here

Socks - pink, black and rust

Top - here

Shirt - here

Book - here

Knickers - maroon and black

COS

Top - here

Socks - here

Forever 21

Dress - here

Pull & Bear

Tops - hate everyone, London underground and motorbike

Day 4 - New Camera!

Borrowed memory card, macro lens

The decision making process when most people an investment item is a lengthy one, however I tend to believe that you can read as many reviews as you like and research for months but nothing quite teaches you what's what like owning and using whatever it is. So I went into my local CEX with my boyfriend who is thankfully a lot more knowledgable than I am about these things, and picked up a Nikon D3100, the standard 18-55mm lens and a macro 180-300mm lens with a Jessops UV filter for £227, which seems to be a good price. 

I knew that whatever I bought was going to be an improvement on my iPod camera or my parent's old point and shoot which the word 'broken' seems to have been invented to describe, so I'm really happy about this purchase. You could take the view that maybe I shouldn't be spending this much on a camera when I am near to clueless about them, but this is how I learn. Taking things one shot at a time, learning how to handle it, getting my eye in with the focus, and familiarising myself with all of the settings.

I seem to learn all my creative skills in this way, sewing, piano, guitar, drawing. Being taught occasional lessons from talented friends or family and just making it up as I go along. 

It was a slight oversight however to omit an SD card from my shopping list… 

Day 3, Magazine Review - Porter

The cover of the Spring 2015 issue reads "Modern Heroines", and unlike you would expect in, say, Cosmopolitan, none of the Kardashians have made the cut. The modern heroines in this magazine are women at the forefront of their fields, hard workers who we can look up to. 

Being an advert in itself, the baby of Net-A-Porter doesn't need to fill it's pages with ads as Vogue or Marie Claire do, although the use of the word advert to describe it seems insulting. 

If you are looking for fluff pieces on ten ways to make him love you, or bedroom antics he wishes you knew: what men REALLY want, you're in the wrong place. You are more likely to find designer profiles, performance art reviews, or in depth pieces on fashion history. This journal is written by, well, writers, in intelligent prose, using sophisticated vocabulary, and with no whiff of bubble writing text speak. 

Admirably, Porter stands apart in the world of fashion journalism, there is nothing in this issue which I have read that is gender or sexuality specific because they recognise that fashion has nothing to do with sex, but more culture and beauty. I believe that anyone could read this and not find it excluding of them. It's for humans who are interested in fashion.

It has a remarkably French air about it, this standing on culture. Fashion is presented as part of the arts rather than something cheap and throwaway, which of course is in line with the ranges that Net-A-Porter carries.

Trends are reported, but somehow it doesn't seem as forceful as when other publications present them. The "Fashion memos" are written in a way which doesn't make you feel as if what you currently own is incorrect, they are just informing you on what is new and why it's there so that you can adopt it if you so choose.

The message is not 'you will look better if you do this' but rather, women can be confident, beautiful and intelligent, and nothing needs to be compromised. Be powerful and allow your clothing to be a reflection of what you feel like on the inside. The fashion displayed is beautiful, yes, but to me that's almost beside the point. It's the attitude of this print which has enchanted me.

Porter, powered by Net-A-Porter. 

UK price £5 per issue.

http://www.net-a-porter.com/Content/portermagazine

Day 2, Trend Thoughts

from Tumblr. Do you like it because it's fashion?

I had another post I was planning on writing today, but this is more relevant to what I'm feeling this afternoon.

British fashion is dominated by the highstreet; there are very few successful boutique stores available outside the cool parts of London. Fashion in this country moves at speeds so quickly that it's impossible to keep up, I remember seeing Sir Philip Green of Arcadia (Topshop, Dorothy Perkins, Wallis etc.) in an interview on TV once saying that the turnaround time for seeing a style on the catwalk to having a version available in the stores in his group is 3 weeks. 3 weeks!! To re-design, pattern cut, send samples to and from Asia and London, source fabrics and components, teach factory workers how to make the garment, prepare for website, set into production, iron out kinks, transport across the globe and be hung up in stores. It's baffling.

This fast pace means that every time you go into Primark or Miss Selfridge there is always something new on the shelves, we as consumers have come to expect that. From the perspective of the designer, this means that there is pressure to continue to come up with new product, new concepts, new everything, but the fact is that there are only so many trouser silhouettes or skirt hemlines in the world to choose from. Trend recycling is something that has always been a thing, but now it seems forced. It seems like the highstreet is moving too fast, we need to re-evaluate what women want to wear, rather than forcing trends on them at such a rate that it's simply impossible to keep up.

Flared and bootcut jeans went out of fashion just over 5 years ago, but now just as people are settling into skinnies and embrace them as a way of life, bam, psych! Go buy something new. Well I don't want to. Not just because I think ankle space is unnecessary, but because as soon as I've got used to wearing them the style will change again, so what's the point? I wonder how many people actually want to feel controlled by fashion like this? Last year it was the 90's, this year the 70's... It's getting desperate. I'm only just starting to get into 90's dressing, things should slow down and evolve naturally rather than be dictated and changed as they are.

I have the hugest respect for people who ignore fashion but have amazing style. People who could be walking down the street in any country in any year and still draw in attention because they look amazing, whether that style is classic and feminine, boho layering, sportswear inspired, or an exhibit of a collection of pieces from across the globe.

Don't be a slave to the changing dictatorship of fashion, just own your style and let it grow organically. Feeling pressured into wearing what Tumblr is full of just because it's there even if you don't like it won't make you feel awesome in your clothes.

On a side note, you should take a look at this video, it's about a very strong, stylish woman and more people should hear her message

Day 1, Re-working The Old, OOTD

Today instead of settling into my ordinary work day routine of staying in my pyjamas as long as is possible, usually until I realise I've run out of milk and have to go to the corner shop, I decided to make the most of the clothes I already own.

The sun is just starting to make an appearance again here in the midlands, and while this outfit may never be seen outside due to my thrilling schedule of work, I see no reason to retract back into comfy winter jumpers and jeans when it's not needed.

I've used a safety pin to clip my kimono together where the neckline of a regular top would fall creating a lightweight shirt. I found my skirt in a my favourite vintage shop, the Covent Garden branch of Rokit, about 2 years ago now in their Rokit Recycled range. It's slightly short at the back but I can get away with it as long as there's not too much wind around.

I love the way the wide shoulders and volume of fabric in this kimono mirror out the shape of the skirt creating an hourglass.

Hair and make up is also something I've let go in the past few months especially. It's become more of a chore than anything else, and while I won't be curling my hair every day (split ends!!), it's nice to make the effort.

Shoes - London Rebel at TK Maxx 

Skirt - Rokit Recycled

Belt - Topshop (old)

Kimono - Dorothy Perkins (old)

Mission Statement

I am a fashion student, sort of. I'm a Londoner studying contour fashion at De Montfort University in Leicester, England. But I don't look like it.

I was brought up in a house which hasn't been decorated since the early 80's, in clothes from charity shops, Woolworth's and when Mum was feeling fancy, Primark. Clothes were necessities, an inconvenience. 14 pairs of knickers, 7 T-shirts, 3-4 leggings or jeans, 1 pair each of good, muddy and school shoes and 1 set of fancy clothes to wear to parties. When I got older I learnt that white T-shirt bras were the only ones worth buying and you only needed 2. "You're not going on a fashion parade" was used as liberally as any catchphrase, and if I wanted to spend time putting my hair into plaits or putting on lipgloss I was told it was pointless and that I was wasting time.

It's easy to see then, the origins of the conflict in my head. On top of being an overthinker anyway... Well it all makes shopping a very stressful experience. I used to know what I liked and ignore it due to lack of funds, but I managed to switch off that desire for things so effectively that I don't even know what I like any more. Yet I still chose a fashion course because I knew that I was interested and it was something that I wanted, I just wasn't quite there yet.

So this is why I want to get back into blogging again. I need to open up the creative side of my life again, through art, fashion, illustration, colour; I need to experiment. At the end of the day, if I wear a train wreck it really doesn't matter, but if I spend another day wearing the same clothes that I have for the last 2 years I might just go mad.

I'd like to formally invite you on my journey. My goal is to do or document something creative each day, reawaken the right side of my brain. Hopefully by the time I start the second year of uni in October it will all be habit, and I can look back at the days of jeans-and-a-shirt and give a wistful sigh, thankful that I've got my mojo back.